Notes · ongoing
Notes from the team.
Short pieces, written as we learn. The product, the parents, the small repairs that hold a family together across two homes.
- In practice4 min read
When the other home seems better: what to do with the jealousy
Jealousy of the other home is common and rarely admitted. How to hold the feeling honestly, keep it away from your child, and remember that children need warmth from each home, not parity.
The dip team · 3 October 2026
- In practice4 min read
After-school care across two homes: who collects, and when
Pick-up confusion between two homes is an information problem, not a parenting one. Keep one agreed list of who collects your child, brief the school and carers, and plan for last-minute changes.
The dip team · 2 October 2026
- In practice4 min read
Reviewing your parenting agreement: a calm annual check-in
A parenting agreement written at separation rarely fits unchanged two years later. Here is how a calm annual review, by message or over a short coffee, keeps the arrangement growing with your child.
The dip team · 1 October 2026
- In practice4 min read
Cycling between two homes: when your child travels alone
In the Netherlands children often cycle between their two homes. How to know when your child is ready to travel alone, agree one route, and build a check-in habit both homes trust.
The dip team · 30 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Sinterklaas across two homes: shoes, surprises and one shared story
Sinterklaas works best when both homes tell the same story. How to agree the shoe, share pakjesavond fairly, and keep gift budgets kind, so your child gets one Sint and two warm homes.
The dip team · 29 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Co-parenting in a close community: gossip, questions and quiet dignity
In a small town or close community, everyone seems to have a view on your separation. How to protect your child from the talk, answer questions calmly, and let quiet dignity do the rest.
The dip team · 28 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Tuition and extra classes across two homes: how much is enough
Extra classes rarely fit one parent's week. How to agree how much tuition is enough, split the fees fairly and share the driving, without either home keeping score.
The dip team · 27 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Two faiths, two homes: helping your child celebrate both
When your child's two homes hold two different faiths, here is how to help them enjoy both sets of festivals: no competition, no choosing sides, and twice the light.
The dip team · 26 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Co-parenting when one home is a multigenerational household
When your co-parent lives with grandparents, aunts and cousins, routines are shaped by many hands. How to keep the key agreements parent to parent, and see a full house as extra love for your child.
The dip team · 25 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Monsoon season handovers: rain, traffic and a plan B
Rain and floods can upend a routine handover. How to agree a weather plan B with your co-parent, keep lateness blame-free, and put your child's comfort before the clock.
The dip team · 24 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Exam season across two homes: keeping revision steady
Your child does not need two identical homes to do well in exams. How co-parents can agree quiet study hours, share the cost of tuition, and keep exam stress out of the space between homes.
The dip team · 23 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Deepavali across two homes: lamps, kolam and a calm festival
Deepavali can still feel whole after separation. How to share the eve, the morning and the round of open houses, and keep kolam, lamps and new clothes alive in both homes.
The dip team · 22 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
New traditions after separation: small rituals your child will keep
When the old family traditions no longer fit, small repeatable rituals can take their place. Why children remember rhythm more than grandeur, and how to grow new traditions in two homes.
The dip team · 21 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Presents across two homes: one list, rough budgets, no duplicates
One shared wish list, roughly agreed budgets and a little honesty about what each home can afford. A calm guide to presents across two homes, without duplicates or comparison.
The dip team · 20 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Your first Christmas after separation: getting through it gently
The first Christmas after separation aches. Gentle ways to lower the bar, plan the hours without your child, and let them love both of their homes freely.
The dip team · 19 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Planning Christmas in November: why early agreement is a gift
The calmest Christmases across two homes are agreed in November, before the season gets loud. How to propose a plan early, warmly, and give your child weeks of looking forward.
The dip team · 18 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Reading the school report together: one report, two proud homes
A school report should land in both homes, not just one inbox. Here is the ten-minute admin fix, how to agree the headline first, and how to keep the grades from becoming a comparison.
The dip team · 17 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Parents' evening when you're separated: together, apart or in turns
Parents' evening when you are separated: together, in separate slots, or in turns. How to choose what fits, what to ask the school, and how to make sure both homes hear the same picture.
The dip team · 16 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
School concerts and plays: both parents in the audience
The nativity, the recital, the end-of-year play: your child will scan the crowd for both of you. Seating, limited tickets, filming for the home that missed it, and keeping the foyer warm afterwards.
The dip team · 15 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Halloween across two homes: costumes, sweets and one happy ghost
Halloween across two homes: who takes your child trick-or-treating, where the costume lives, and how to let them enjoy the night twice without feeling caught in the middle.
The dip team · 14 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Coats, wellies and winter kit: where the warm things live
A simple system for winter coats, wellies and warm kit across two homes: the duplicates worth buying, a shared note of what lives where, and a calm way to handle a coat that goes missing.
The dip team · 13 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Dark evenings and the clock change: steadying routines in two homes
When the clocks go back, bedtimes wobble and handovers happen in the dark. A gentle plan for steadying routines across two homes through the darker months, without needing both houses to match.
The dip team · 12 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Autumn half-term across two homes: a short break, kept simple
Half-term is only a week, yet it can take more planning than the whole summer. Three simple shapes for sharing a short school break across two homes, plus what to do when annual leave will not stretch.
The dip team · 11 September 2026
- In practice3 min read
Pocket money across two homes: one message, kept simple
Pocket money across two homes works best as one shared message. Three simple models to agree with your co-parent, what to do about chores, and how to handle it when one home can afford more.
The dip team · 10 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Teenagers and the schedule: when your teen wants a say
Teenagers outgrow schedules built for younger children. How to give your teen a real say in the pattern between two homes, without making them responsible for adult feelings.
The dip team · 9 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Missing the small moments: lost teeth, match days and first words
Missing a first tooth or a winning goal because it happened in the other home really hurts. How to hold that feeling kindly, plus the small habits between two homes that let both parents share the childhood.
The dip team · 8 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
When your co-parent moves on: steadying yourself for your child
Hearing that your co-parent has met someone new can hurt, even years after separating. How to feel the wave in private, keep your child out of the emotional weather, and answer their questions with warmth.
The dip team · 7 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Dating again as a co-parent: the season before any introduction
Dating again after separation is healthy, not a betrayal. How to date on your off-nights, what your co-parent needs to know, and what to do with the guilt of wanting a life of your own.
The dip team · 6 September 2026
- In practice4 min read
Co-parenting guilt: what it is telling you, and what it isn't
Co-parenting guilt is usually proof of how much you care, not evidence you have failed. How to act on the useful part, set down the noise, and stop guilt quietly making your parenting decisions for you.
The dip team · 5 September 2026
- Letters4 min read
A letter for your child's first day of school
A letter for the parent at the school gate: the ache of milestones in two homes, and why two adults calmly showing up for one small person is the greatest first-day gift of all.
The dip team · 4 September 2026
- Letters4 min read
A letter to the parent in a quiet house
A warm letter for your first weekend without your child, when the house feels too quiet. On missing them without failing them, and what the empty days can slowly, gently become.
The dip team · 3 September 2026
- Research4 min read
Do children of separated parents turn out fine? What the research really shows
Decades of research find that most children of separated parents adjust well within a couple of years. What matters most is low conflict, warm parenting in both homes, and a steady everyday world.
The dip team · 2 September 2026
- Research4 min read
Overnights for babies and toddlers: what the research says
What research really says about babies and toddlers sleeping in two homes: secure attachment grows from responsive care by both parents, and gentle, flexible patterns matter more than rigid rules.
The dip team · 1 September 2026
- Research4 min read
It's the conflict, not the separation: what affects children most
Research consistently finds that ongoing parental conflict, not the separation itself, shapes how children fare. What that means for life across two homes, and where your effort counts most.
The dip team · 31 August 2026
- Research4 min read
Does 50/50 custody benefit children? What the research says
The research on 50/50 custody is reassuring: children in shared care tend to do well when conflict stays low, and the exact split matters less than warmth and steadiness in both homes.
The dip team · 30 August 2026
- In practice3 min read
Living near your co-parent: why closeness helps children
Living within cycling distance of your co-parent keeps school, friends and clubs the same in both homes. What children gain from closeness, what it asks of parents, and how to make it work.
The dip team · 29 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Calm handovers: making the change between homes easier
Handovers are when children feel the separation most. Small rituals soften the moment: predictable times, a warm goodbye ritual, grown-up talk kept off the doorstep, and a gentle landing in the receiving home.
The dip team · 28 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Co-ouderschap: what Dutch co-parenting culture gets right
In the Netherlands, co-ouderschap makes shared care after separation feel ordinary. Here is what any co-parent can borrow: normalising two homes, planning early, and cooperating practically.
The dip team · 27 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
School holidays across two homes: planning term breaks calmly
Map the school year once, agree simple defaults for the short breaks, and save the real conversation for the long holiday. A calm one-evening ritual for planning term breaks across two homes.
The dip team · 26 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
When extended family has opinions: expectations after separation
When grandparents, aunties and the wider family have opinions about your co-parenting arrangement, warmth and a steady boundary are enough. Kind phrases that hold the plan without pushing anyone away.
The dip team · 25 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Ramadan across two homes: fasting, sahur and steady routines
How co-parents can support a child through Ramadan in two homes: agreeing gently on fasting, handling sahur and iftar on handovers, and how a non-observing home can honour the month kindly.
The dip team · 24 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Balik kampung after separation: planning the long trip home
Balik kampung after separation can stay a joy for your child. How to plan long festival trips fairly, keep the parent at home close, and treat the journey home as heritage rather than a count of days.
The dip team · 23 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Hari Raya across two homes: a calm festival season
Gentle patterns for sharing Hari Raya across two homes: splitting the first and second days of Syawal, alternating years, and letting your child enjoy two celebrations without guilt.
The dip team · 22 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Travelling abroad with your child after separation
Taking your child abroad after separation works best with early notice, shared itineraries and agreed contact. A calm guide to consent, passports and building trust across two homes.
The dip team · 21 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Clubs and activities across two homes: lifts, kit and costs
Football does not pause for the schedule. How co-parents keep clubs and activities steady across two homes: lifts, kit, shared costs, and the activity that falls in one parent's time.
The dip team · 20 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Schools and separated parents: keeping both homes informed
Separated parents often slip off school mailing lists without anyone deciding it. How to get both homes onto the school's systems, handle parents' evening together or apart, and keep your child's school life whole.
The dip team · 19 August 2026
- In practice3 min read
Homework across two homes: keeping school steady
Schoolwork slips easily between two homes. A calm guide to sharing what is due, keeping a steady homework moment in each home, and handing over school news without blame or scorekeeping.
The dip team · 18 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Food rules in two homes: different tables, one well-fed child
Vegetables in one home, pizza Fridays in the other? Children cope well with different food rules. Here's what's worth aligning on, and why commenting on the other home's meals rarely helps.
The dip team · 17 August 2026
- In practice3 min read
Phones and screens across two homes: agreeing the basics
Screen rules rarely match across two homes, and that's okay. How co-parents can agree three or four shared basics, protect the phone as a lifeline to both parents, and write a short device agreement.
The dip team · 16 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
The bag between two homes: packing without stress
Forgotten PE kit causes more two-home tension than almost anything. Sensible duplicates, a packing list your child can own, and an age-by-age guide to what children can pack themselves.
The dip team · 15 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
Sick days across two homes: who stays home, and how to decide
A poorly child does not read the schedule. A calm default for who cares for a sick child across two homes, how to tell your co-parent without drama, and when a swap is kinder than sticking to the plan.
The dip team · 14 August 2026
- In practice4 min read
The end of summer: easing back into term-time rhythm
Late August sits between holiday freedom and school routine. How to wind bedtimes, screens and mealtimes back gently, and roughly in step across two homes, so the return to term feels soft rather than sudden.
The dip team · 13 August 2026
- In practice3 min read
Back to school across two homes: a calm start to the year
Starting the school year when your child lives in two homes: uniform, school forms, contacts and a shared calendar, plus a simple checklist to agree with your co-parent before term begins.
The dip team · 12 August 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting burnout: how to recover and look after yourself
Co-parenting burnout is real exhaustion, not weakness. Here is how to name it, why your wellbeing helps your child, the small recoveries that work, and when to get support.
The dip team · 11 July 2026
In practice4 min readA new baby in one home: helping your child with a half-sibling
When a new baby arrives in one home, helping your child adjust to a half-sibling takes reassurance and patience. How to handle jealousy and keep your child feeling central.
The dip team · 10 July 2026
In practice3 min readWhen you disagree on parenting: different rules in each house
Different rules in each house are normal and usually fine. Here is what consistency really means, how to pick your battles, and why a child adapts well to two stable, loving homes.
The dip team · 9 July 2026
In practice4 min readDocumenting co-parenting: keeping a calm, clear shared record
How to document co-parenting calmly: keep a clear shared record so nobody has to argue about what was agreed. What to note, what to skip, dip's tamper-evident history, and why this isn't case-building.
The dip team · 8 July 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting after a breakup when you were never married
You don't need to have been married to co-parent well. The same playbook applies: a steady schedule, fair money, kind communication, and an honest conversation with your child.
The dip team · 7 July 2026
In practice3 min readThe stepparent role and boundaries: supportive, not a replacement
What is the stepparent role, and where are the boundaries? A calm guide to being supportive not a replacement, what a step-parent should and shouldn't do, and building trust slowly.
The dip team · 6 July 2026
In practice4 min readBlended family tips: building a step family that works
Practical blended family tips for separated parents: realistic timelines, step-sibling bonds, two-home integration, and moving at your child's pace, not a deadline.
The dip team · 5 July 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting birthdays: one party, two homes, one happy child
How to handle your child's birthday across two homes: one party or two, including both parents, and celebrating the off-duty parent's birthday warmly.
The dip team · 4 July 2026
In practice4 min readSummer holidays co-parenting: planning a calm summer split
How to plan summer holidays as co-parents: the summer split, booking travel early, time blocks, and staying flexible so your child's summer stays joyful.
The dip team · 3 July 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting at Christmas: gentle ways to split the day
How to share Christmas as co-parents: split the day, alternate years, or build new traditions. Calm, practical ideas that put your child's joy first.
The dip team · 2 July 2026
In practice4 min readHow to split child expenses fairly between two homes
A practical method for splitting shared child expenses: separate big from small, agree a fair rule, keep light records, reimburse promptly, and adjust when incomes differ.
The dip team · 1 July 2026
In practice4 min readWhen your child doesn't want to go to the other parent's
When your child doesn't want to go to the other parent's house: how to stay calm, what refusal can really mean, how it differs by age, and when a wobble is worth a closer look.
The dip team · 30 June 2026
In practice4 min readHelping your child adjust to two homes
Helping your child adjust to two households: building a steady routine across both homes, the comfort object that travels, easing the Sunday dread, and giving it time.
The dip team · 29 June 2026
In practice4 min readHow to talk to a teenager about divorce
Talking to a teenager about divorce: how to be honest without burdening them, respect their autonomy and privacy, and stay steady if they seem to pick a side.
The dip team · 28 June 2026
In practice4 min readHow to talk to a toddler about divorce
Talking to a toddler about divorce: simple words they can hold, why routine and reassurance matter most, what to do about regression, and how to handle the I want mummy cry calmly.
The dip team · 27 June 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting boundaries: how to set them kindly and hold them
Co-parenting boundaries explained: what a kind boundary actually is, the common ones separated parents need, and how to hold them calmly without escalating or punishing the other parent.
The dip team · 26 June 2026
In practice4 min readWhen your co-parent won't communicate: staying steady
When your co-parent won't communicate or refuses to talk, here's how to stay steady: share the minimum, use written channels, keep the child out of the middle, and know when to bring help in.
The dip team · 25 June 2026
In practice4 min readParental alienation signs: what they mean, and the calm response
Parental alienation can be real and serious, but it is often unintentional and can flow both ways. Here is what people mean by the signs, plus a calm, child-first response.
The dip team · 24 June 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting with a narcissist: a calmer, child-first way through
If you searched this, you are probably drained and unheard. Here is an honest, child-first approach: lower the conflict, hold kind boundaries, protect your child, and get support for yourself.
The dip team · 23 June 2026
In practice3 min readCo-parenting communication tips that lower the temperature
Practical co-parenting communication tips: tone over content, the 24-hour rule, keeping it businesslike, what to share and what to skip, and a free Tone Check to catch the line that starts a fight.
The dip team · 22 June 2026
In practice4 min readParallel parenting vs co-parenting: when low contact is healthier
Parallel parenting vs co-parenting explained: when low-contact parenting is the kinder, calmer choice, how it works in practice, and how to keep your child first while you both heal.
The dip team · 21 June 2026
In practice4 min readLong distance co-parenting: keeping the bond across miles
A calm guide to long distance co-parenting: schedules across distance, video calls that work by age, travel logistics, and keeping your child's bond with both parents strong.
The dip team · 20 June 2026
In practice3 min readCo-parenting schedule by age: infants to teenagers
A co-parenting schedule by age: which rhythm fits infants, toddlers, school-age children, and teenagers, and how to adjust the pattern calmly as your child grows.
The dip team · 19 June 2026
In practice4 min readThe 2-2-3 schedule explained: how 2-2-3 custody rotates
The 2-2-3 schedule explained simply: how the rotation works, an example week, who it suits, and why this 50/50 pattern often fits younger children best.
The dip team · 18 June 2026
In practice4 min readWeek on week off schedule: how 50/50 custody works
A plain guide to the week on week off schedule for 50/50 custody: who it suits, the pros and cons, how it works by age, and how to run it calmly in two homes.
The dip team · 17 June 2026
In practice3 min readHoliday custody schedule: splitting holidays fairly
How to set a holiday custody schedule that puts your child first: splitting Christmas, alternating years, dividing school holidays, and handling the summer break calmly.
The dip team · 16 June 2026
In practice4 min readIntroducing a new partner to your child: when and how
When and how to introduce a new partner to your child after separation. The 6-month rule, signs of readiness, going slow, and how to tell your co-parent kindly.
The dip team · 15 June 2026
In practice4 min readCo-parenting and money: how to split child costs fairly
How to share your child's costs without keeping score: what to split, how child support differs from everyday expenses, and how to keep money from becoming the recurring fight.
The dip team · 14 June 2026
In practice4 min readHow to tell your child about divorce or separation
How to tell your child you are separating: what to say, when to say it, telling them together where you can, handling the hard questions, and what to adjust for each age.
The dip team · 13 June 2026
In practice4 min readWhat is co-parenting? A clear, calm definition
Co-parenting means two separated parents raising their child together across two homes. Here is what it looks like day to day, plus the three things that matter most.
The dip team · 12 June 2026
In practice3 min readCo-parenting after divorce: a calmer first year across two homes
A practical, calm guide to co-parenting after divorce or separation: the schedule, the money, the messages, telling the children, and free tools and help for two-home families.
The dip team · 10 June 2026
In practice2 min readCo-parenting with a difficult ex: how to lower the conflict
Practical strategies for high-conflict co-parenting with a difficult ex, reduce the temperature, set boundaries, protect the children, and know when to get help. Free tools for two homes.
The dip team · 10 June 2026
In practice2 min readCustody schedule examples: 50/50 and other patterns that work
Clear custody schedule examples for separated parents, 50/50 week-on/week-off, 2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, and how to pick one by your child's age, with a free shared calendar to run it.
The dip team · 10 June 2026
In practice2 min readdip vs OurFamilyWizard vs TalkingParents: a free co-parenting app compared
An honest comparison of dip, OurFamilyWizard and TalkingParents. If you want a free co-parenting app with a shared calendar, expenses and calmer messaging, here's how they differ.
The dip team · 10 June 2026
In practice2 min readParenting plan template: what to include (and a free one to start)
What a parenting plan is, what to put in it, and a free parenting plan template for separated and divorced co-parents, schedule, handovers, money, and communication in one document.
The dip team · 10 June 2026
- Product3 min read
Why we built the Tone Check
The smallest tool in the app, and the one we kept arguing about. A note on what we learned.
Remy Anker · 9 May 2026
- Changelog2 min read
What shipped in May
A small monthly note on what we built, what we learned, and what we are working on next.
The dip team · 1 May 2026
- In practice3 min read
The three things
Why dip does only the calendar, the expenses, and the messages, and why that is on purpose.
Pauline Sam · 22 April 2026
A quiet email, every fortnight.
One short note, picked for the season. No marketing.